Don't forget.

Remember that person who was standing by your side when you where down at your lowest point? 

Remember when you didn't want to move in the mornings but that person was there to rip you out of bed?

Remember when you sat and cried for hours with that person till god knows what time?

Remember all those times you thought you where going to have a crap day but that person went out of their way to make sure you smiled at least once by the time you go to sleep. 

Remember the other day when you had a really good day and you felt on top of the world...Yeah the person who looked after you didn't. She wasn't there you had forgotten.

Don't Forget who was there when no one else was. Don't forget who broke their back to make sure you got up that ladder out of the hole. Don't forget that, that person may now be fighting there own demons and has their hand stretched out and you just keep walking past. 

It seems to me that we will take and take from people but don't understand when people are hurt when they are forgotten. 

I remember you standing there with that dark monster on your shoulder making you feel weaker and weaker, I remember you telling me you didn't want to continue. I remember you telling me there was no point to just go home. I also remember telling you No! 

No one should ever feel that alone. No one should ever think they can't get through it and i will always make sure i try my damn best to help you. However i know their will be one or two people who will forget. 

I also know there will be those friends who will make sure that when they are standing on that top post i will be standing right behind them (Not beside because i am proud they got there they deserve their spotlight) they will make sure i rise with them because they remember those times. They didn't forget. And when i am on top i will make sure they are right there because i wouldn't be anywhere without them. 

So to those who didn't forget and won't forget- Thank you, See you on the other side 

To those who used and abused -F*** You, Watch me rise.

Peace x

A letter....A small Whisper

Dear who ever,

I have a lot to say yet no one really seems to listen and at the end of the day,I understand that I'm only young and people will sit there and say well what does she know, However i have had some great life lessons though my own mistakes and watching those i love around me make mistakes too.

I have sat for hours crying over those who have wronged me and i have laughed sitting next to someone who would only become a demon in my life. I have helped those who only kick me to the curb when they have achieved what it was they set out too do. I have also been put on a peddle stool that i didn't belong on and soon knocked my self off of the top. I have sat for hours listening to music that does nothing but make me cry i have also put music that makes me feel like a queen awaiting her moment in the sun. I often have thoughts wondering what i deserve and what i have done to deserve some of the cards life has dealt me. Why i lost my forever man on many occasions and why i lost that person i always thought i could trust, But within seconds the same thought of those nights laughing till i couldn't breath and loving so hard i thought my chest was going to explode. I've put myself in situations i don't even want to think about now.

I have watched her cry over the man she thought loved her as everything was taken away, I have watched him break because he thought he didn't deserve the world he lived in and there was nothing else for him to give. I've been called at 2am because she couldn't cope being alone and she needed me. I have sat and watched people i love being taken away from me and i have also watched new people come into my life who have made it better. I have watched that couple scream and shout until they where red in the face but after it all they new they weren't going anywhere without the other. I have seen my friends have babies and seen them grow into amazing little humans.

I am a mixture of all these things, I am a complicated person who still doesn't fully understand herself, not too sure what my purpose is. Where am i meant to go and will i ever find something and go this is it! Whats was i so scared and upset for? I don't know whats going to happen how many more times i will cry over someone who is not worth my time or Laugh till water squirts through my nose. How many days ill wake up and look in the mirror and hate everything i see and then those nights where i go out and feel completely unstoppable. I am a beautiful mosaic of mistakes, Regrets, Fears, Hopes and love. I am a collage of the people i love and those i couldn't stand to be around because they make me cringe just at the thought. I am everything i have ever seen or experienced, i am all the love and pain. Yes I'm only 21, Yes I'm quiet and quite often i will look as if i hate everything around me and everyone in it.

But in fact I'm quite the opposite I'm scared of everything and everyone in a world i have only seen a small portion of. I am a dreamer who believes that my life will be like that movie i love to watch over and over. I am the person who rarely thinks of herself and will think of others even if it hurts me. I am growing and ever changing i am shy and not great at talking but if you ask ill answer. If you have even read this far good for you...Your waiting for my point? The grand reveal, well there isn't one.

This is a letter to myself or to who ever feels the same way. I am a rainbow of colours forever changing forever growing.

Yours always
Jade

Positive Changes

So i am fully aware i am not living my life to its full capacity i do the same thing everyday in and out and that is grand bunch of nothing.
So what better to do then to make some positive changes. A few for my mental state and a few for my bodies well being and my life should improve as a whole.

Not only the fact i have an awesome job which i will be starting in the next few weeks...More to come on that, Anyway moving on i have decided to make positive changes and i know my friends and family will support me completely. I also know that its not going to be easy.

So let me tell you what I'm planning on doing...First thing first i need to quit smoking. Its a bad habit and its very expensive. And to be honest with you i can barely afford a pouch of tobacco as it is, with the new laws coming in its just going to become more expensive. 

Secondly, My health...I eat to much of the wrong thing. Well i just eat to much and at the wrong times. I am not active enough as it is, and i want that to change i want to walk out of my house and feel confident and proud of myself. 

3rd point i need to save money i have things to aim for...I would like a new car and i really want to move out so i need to get my arse into gear. 

So anyway...Today i bought a vape so i am on my way to begin my first task. Im positive I'm going to do it. I am positive that i will be a non smoker. Because to be honest I'm sick of standing in the cold. 

Anyway thats it. 

Peace x

Things that need to change

Okay so now I'm adulating...Or attempting too..a few things need to change. Not too much but lets improve myself. Nothing wrong with that?

• Quit smoking, its bad for your health and well kinda gross
• Try and loose a little weight, again bad for your health and will be good for your mind to feel better about yourself.
• Smash your new job! 
• Stop giving your time to those who only take from you. 
• Live a little! 
• Save for a flat and maybe a nicer car? 

Ive always said i need to change things. Maybe now its the time. 

Ive realised this sounds like I'm talking to myself? Well Jade thats because you are! 

So maybe in a couple of months we can review the above listed things and see how we are doing? hopefully you will be much healthier and fitter and feeling fresh and new. 

Or maybe...Wait thats not the outcome we want, go with the first one you can do this! It helps if you have confidence in yourself. If you don't have that how is anyone ever going to get behind you. You believe in you and others will follow. 

Hell yeah strong independent woman....Kinda 

PEACE X

Who am i?...Well you know who i am

Hi! 

I always do these introductions as if you don't know me but lets be honest most people who read this know me or don't actually care. 

So lets get this little bit out of the way. I am Jade, 21 and i like to moan a lot. I like the idea of a perfect romance and a perfect life and its not all that simple. 

I have loads of great friends (You know who you are) and a amazing family too. I live in a great house i have a car and a really cute cat and 2 hamsters. 

This blog isn't aimed at anything and isn't for anything however I'm getting to a part of my life where i am experiencing a lot of new things that freak me out for example this whole thing of being an adult. Who came up with that idea? And its just a way for me to say whats going on when it isn't easy to do so through voice. Sometimes i might moan (sorry about that) But however I'm really excited to see what happens next. And i really want to document what is going on so when i am a fully functioning adult i can laugh and maybe my friends and family will laugh along with me. 

So please come with me on my journey of becoming an adult type thing. 

So lets start with positive and exciting things that are happening at the moment.

• Ive just been offered an awesome job 
• I have friends who are getting married 
• I have friends who are loosing the love of their lives and going through heart break
• Im thinking about stepping into the world all by myself (Moving out) 
• I am attempting this thing called love 
• Babies everywhere!! 

And thats only the beginning. I have no idea where i am going just where i want to be. So lets do it. 

Classic sign off
Peace x